in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
