if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
