There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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