u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
