She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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