I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
