you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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