I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
