i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
