Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
