just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
