i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize