C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
