our cab driver is having phone sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
