i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
