it hurts more in the daytime
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
