She said her name was "party"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
