Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
