absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
