Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
