So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
