3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
