After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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