she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
