Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
