thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
