I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
