return my video game
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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