Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
