why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize