I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
