She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
