there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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