And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
