try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
