I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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