So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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