Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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