i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
