Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
