you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
