Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize