i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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