I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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