perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
