...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
