i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
