i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
