I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
