I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
