Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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