he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
