Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
