Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
